To A Bride In This Chaotic Time

No, I never thought when I started planning my wedding that I’d have to cancel it. 

It’s really a crazy time to be a bride. 

My hope is to encourage those pretty woman who God chose to brides in the midst of this season of the world. 

Our wedding was supposed to be May 23. 

And it still might be. 

But it probably won’t. 

Yeah, just like you, we got the email from the venue. 

They are postponing all events in their space for a question-mark number of weeks. 

And ours happens to be maybe be in that question-mark number. 

And I’ve had all of the feelings. 

And you probably have, too. 

The tears, the frustration, the confusion, the anger, the bitterness— my little, fragile heart has felt it all and now feels like it needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap, or maybe like it’s a full-out warrior who can literally take on the entire world, with a sword. 

It really goes back and forth, depending on the moment, depending on the conversation and the person. 

So, here we go. 

An attempt to believe that God is good— when I really don’t feel it and really don’t see it. 

A feeble cry to the Lord to teach me how to trust Him— like to actually. trust. Him. 

Just the threadwork of a prayer that my heart would sing a new anthem— hope. Not disappointment. 

God chose us to be brides in this time. 

God chose me to a bride in this time. 

He didn’t choose anyone else— He chose us. 

Because He knows that we have something to offer the world. 

Don’t ask me what that is, yet— if it’s light or hope or beauty or joy or contentment— I’m still figuring it out, and I’m sure you are too. 

But, He made us a bride in a time such as this— 

In a time such as this— 

And I just want to sit in that. 

That He knew. 

The moment my Thomas got down on one knee and asked to spend the rest of his life with me— in that moment, God knew that this whole scenario would be apart of the story of our marriage. He knew before that. He’s known all of the days of my life, + I believe He’s prepared me and you for a time such as this. 

You know, I think me and maybe you and the world around us thinks of weddings + marriage as an inseparable bond of things. 

Like, if you’re getting married, you have a wedding + if you have a wedding, you’re getting married. 

And that’s the story for most people, most of the time, most of the days of the calendar and in most of the places in this world. 

But this world is broken. 

It’s so broken. 

I can feel it all too heavily right now. 

And I am having to pull apart those two ideas today. 

That my marriage doesn’t have to have a wedding. 

Oh, I would love it to. 

That was the plan. 

But this is the jaw-dropping- yet not so much, eye-opening- not so much— this is just the subtle, little thought that came into my heart and mind today, that I wanted to push away and embrace at the same time, that brought pain + a weird, inexpressible joy at the same time. 

It’s not about all that. 

Marriage is simply and deeply and beautifully and gloriously a little glimpse of the love that GOD has for you + me. And Thomas and I get to be apart of that. 

It’s not about the wedding. It’s not about my bridal shower. It’s not about the bachelorette trip. It’s not about bridesmaids and registries and dancing and drinks. 

It’s about my sweet, sweet Jesus. 

And His glory. 

And a glimpse of His love for me and you. 

And nothing else. 

And so, my sweet sister, 

My sweet and beautiful fellow bride, 

I am wrestling through the realization that I may not have any of these things. 

Or at least, not have them in the way or timing I expected. 

And I feel like there’s this beautiful, weight of glory on my chest. 

I feel a fire inside— that maybe, in sacrificing all of these things that world glues on this season— maybe that by sacrificing those things, I can see and feel and experience the glory of God in marriage just a little bit clearer. In a deeper, more raw kind of way. 

Because all of the things that I could be tempted to make the idol of this season— are stripped away. 

And all that remains, 

Is the sweet + sacred union of Tmos and I. 

All that remains, is the weight of marriage. The beauty in the glimpse of God’s love. The sweetness of experiencing Christ’s sacrifice. The joy of the Spirit in worship + the expectant, hopeful hearts in the thought that this Jesus— the one who is so beautifully showing me a glimpse of His love for me— is coming back one day, to take me and you and all of us as His bride. 

Listen, if you have a wedding, and all of that fun stuff— oh, I’m so so happy for you. Who knows, I may even get to experience those things. 

But the weight of it all— is the glimpse of the gospel in our marriage. 

And I am so willing— and I am so ready to give my sweet Jesus my, “yes” for whatever this season holds. 

I am so willing and ready to sacrifice all of the things so that I may experience the sweetness of love so much more vibrantly. 

It’s not about the venue and decor and dancing and drinks and DJ and flowers and whatever else— 

And I get to live that. And experience that. And enjoy that. 

And so, my sweet sister, 

Hear my soft, gentle, fired-up voice when I say this: 

God chose you to be a bride during this time. 

Maybe we’ve been caught up in all of the wrong things for too long, + maybe He’s giving us this sweet gift of grace to find Him all again, in the middle of all of this crazy, wedding fluff. 

Maybe this is the sweetest, most kind and loving invitation to find the love and the grace and the gospel of Jesus in the middle of marriage. 

Oh, and you better believe, I’m going to be the first to raise my hand. 

If this is my story, may I tell it with such fire and passion and grace— 

That it’s not my wedding— it’s the gospel. 

And if this is my story, may I enjoy + be present for every single moment— the beautiful and the heavy— because this is the story my sweet Jesus has invited me into. 

You, my fellow bride, were chosen for a time such as this. 

May we carry it well. 

With so much love + compassion

Melissa 

9 replies to “To A Bride In This Chaotic Time

  1. Firstly, as a friend as well as pastor and wedding officiant, I am so sorry that you very possibly have to postpone your big celebration. There is so much joy in having family and friends celebrate love together.

    Yet, this is also a great teaching moment about our Lord’s patience and faithfulness.
    Already this year I have officiated two weddings in which the couple was already married (for two months and then one year.) In the last wedding, couple did not even tell their parents right away that they were already legally bound until about two weeks before the ceremony.
    Similarly, we, the Church, are betrothed to Christ. It is already legally done. We await our Groom patiently, yet always and increasingly with longing. We are His Bride, He is our Groom. But the full celebration comes later. We may await the full consummation until that time (unlike couples in our world who can have a judge unite them and then consummate that day, if desired), but we already enjoy the status of being betrothed to our King.
    So, while it is sad to delay a mass celebration, this too can point to the glory of our Lord and our longing to physically join Him forever!

    Like

  2. Hi Melissa,
    This blog post was shared with me by my friend who was shared to her by another friend. The first thing I noticed when I opened this post was that we share the same wedding date! I completely feel the same as you where the emotions feel all over the place. I’m very confused if we should proceed with the wedding and with certain barriers we have from our story, and depending on how they unfold, we may even have to delay the signing of the marriage register itself. It’s definitely been stressful times. Yes, I’ve cried, but I’ve also gone back to planning a contingency plan. But there have also been days where I feel so discouraged and unmotivated to do any wedding related stuff. You’re right that maybe we just need to focus on the marriage and not the wedding. To trust God. After all, marriage is a lifetime investment where as a wedding is only one day. I enjoyed reading your post. Honestly, I’m still feeling very confused of how to approach the wedding coming so close … will it be cancelled or will it still be happening? All these thoughts pull me back and forth. Please keep us in your prayers. We will be praying for you too. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    1. Hey girl! Aww so crazy- May 23!!! Yeah there’s so many things that we need to decide, and I lean towards one way, and then a few hours later am leaning towards the other way hahah!! We are going to wait until the beginning of April to make our final decision. Yes, I love what you said about how the wedding is just one day, and the marriage is a lifetime! So true! All that matters is that we are getting married, + that’s the most beautiful and special thing. Praying that you can find so much clarity and peace in this time!!!

      Like

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this with brides like me. I am praying for you and Thomas, for all couples out there, that we can rejoice in God’s love today and everyday.

    Like

  4. Thank you for these words! I read them with tears streaming down my face as I have had these very same thoughts. I’m a bride with a wedding set for June, and the future is so uncertain. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for reminding me of my sole purpose in all that I do…to bring glory to the name of Jesus.

    Like

  5. Wow Melissa, you have such a beautiful heart! All I know is your marriage, whenever and however it will happen, will be blessed! ❤️

    Like

  6. Well said sister! Daniel and my wedding is May 30! We are all struggling through the same fear of the unknown. I remember telling Dan just earlier this week, that no matter what happens we still get to marry on another. It’s about the covenant between you, your husband, and God, not the big party that typically is thrown after a wedding ceremony (even though having that would be nice). And though this time is hard, like you and Thomas, we can already tell it’s going to provide a lot of learning and opportunity to lean into Jesus’ love as well as our love for one another! I’ll be praying for you!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
close-alt close collapse comment ellipsis expand gallery heart lock menu next pinned previous reply search share star