I do not feel very bold.
I have butterflies in my stomach more often than not.
I just care too much about what people think, and I doubt my natural ability to succeed.
So my stomach is often fluttering and fretting, my palms sweaty, and my knees weak. (If you got that, let’s be friends.)
So here’s where I’m at: This past week, I’ve felt so convicted about telling people about Jesus. And listen, I do share my faith. I write about it. I talk about with my Christian friends. I post some captions of Bible verses. But I’m not talking about that… I am talking about share the Gospel, raw and gritty, with people, face to face, who don’t know Jesus and may have no desire to.
I just have this odd paradigm where my heart just fills and overflows with Jesus’ love for us and I just love Him and I want people to know Him…
But I don’t tell them about Jesus.
I don’t get it.
I get so dang nervous. My heart is fearful and hardened. I pray and pray for these beautiful people in my life, and I plead with God that they would come to know Him. And this past week I just heard Him so clearly and piercingly respond,
“Then tell them about Me.”
A dagger through my hardened heart is a good description of what that did. I have prayed and prayed for my people to come to know Jesus, but I have been pushing back and rebelling against the idea that God intentionally has me in their lives so I can bring them to know Him, through actually opening my mouth and talking to them about Jesus.
I am all talk and no walk.
I want the prize but I don’t want to run the race.
I want them to come to know Jesus but for some reason I get too nervous to tell them about Him.
In Acts 4, Peter and John, who had been preaching the Gospel, performing miracles, and claiming the resurrection in the name of Jesus, were arrested and taken into court. The council demanded that they never speak or teach in the name of Jesus again.
Peter and John returned to their friends and told them all that happened. And then, get this- they didn’t pray for the persecution to stop. They didn’t pray that God would call them elsewhere. They didn’t ask God if they could be silent, and shrink back in the shadows. They prayed for boldness.
“And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness…”
I want to be bold. I want to have a faith that pulses with boldness like a heartbeat, steady and strong. I want to grow even bolder and fiercer from flogging or stones or threats. I want to look to no one but my sweet Jesus and preach aloud His cross and resurrection, fearless of what man may say or do.
This Jesus, He has saved me. He has died for all of my sins, forgiven me, and redeemed me from the grip of hell. He was beaten and pierced and killed for me. He came from Heaven for me, to bring me back to my Father. He is the One who loves me relentlessly and endlessly and unconditionally. Oh, this hope, this joy and love and sweetness I feel, I must tell them of it! I must tell them about Jesus.
And if you think, “Oh, I’m just a normal girl.. I could never do things that big,” hear this:
Girl, it’s even sweeter, that I am just a normal, common, coffee-shop, dentist-going, soap-buying girl. Just like we all are. There’s nothing special, no great power nor prestige in my life. That’s not a disadvantage nor a disqualifier. It just shows that Jesus is alive and present, and that this boldness is straight from His throne.
“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.”
Oh, sister, go be with Jesus.
In the fire of His presence, our hearts will surely be sparked. Just a few moments with Him will bring us to our knees in adoration and fill our souls with passion.
Boldness is not something I can muster up on my own strength. I need God to light a fire in my bones and fill my heart with passion and eyes with tears. And the closer I get to Jesus, the more I find that I just can’t help but preach the Gospel. I can’t help but tell these beautiful people in my life about Jesus.
For one week, I prayed for boldness. Every time I began to feel those butterflies, I prayed for boldness, in faith that God would abundantly lavish it on me.
And because of those prayers, my friend, God has called me out onto the water with two different times where He called me to preach the Gospel. Over thirty people have heard the Gospel because of those prayers, so friend: this prayer is dangerous. God will use you. He will call you out on the water and fill you with His Spirit, and whisper, “Tell it from a mountain, my daughter.” Don’t just pray it because it sounds pretty and daring, oh, count the cost first. The telling of this Gospel will trigger a response in every single heart: either a heart that is drawn closer to Jesus or a hardened heart.
Expect rejection. Expect slander and judgement and anger. Expect to be cursed and to be praised. Expect eyes lighting up, smiles perking, tears flowing. Expect people repenting and meeting their Love for the first time.
Once you’ve counted the cost, and decided that your sweet Jesus is well worth everything, pray for boldness.
Sister, I believe in you. And more importantly, God believes in you.
Let’s rise up into the women that God created us to be, gently and loving and passionately telling our neighbors of what Jesus did, in perfect boldness and humility.
Don’t worry. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves your neighbors. His Kingdom is coming, and nothing, angels nor demons, height nor depth, can stop it.
Oh, just think of the beautiful, eternally deep and glimmering moment, when we are dancing and feasting in Jesus’ Kingdom, and we look to our right and see glad men and women, who are here, in the Kingdom of Love, because we told them about Jesus back in our old life.
You scarcely remember that faded memory, maybe it was at an ice cream shop, or at that old building you worked at, or in your home… you told them about Jesus, and they came to know Him, and now, oh sister, look! Here we are, in the Kingdom, there is Jesus and there are your sisters! And God, in His grace, used us to bring His people home!
What a joyful, blissful moment of celebration. We will lock eyes with them and hug and laugh, and think back to the moment when you first told them name of Jesus… and then look around at the gleaming gold and jasper and diamonds of Heaven.. and celebrate that we are at last Home.
Friend, if you are perplexed as to how to articulate the Gospel, remind yourself of its simplicity. Picture it in your mind. Work through it in your heart. Seek God and ask Him to give you concise words.
Jesus died for our sins, and then rose back to life three days later.
When we believe that, we are forgiven and have the hope of Heaven.
It’s simple. It’s beautiful. Go scream it from the mountaintops, my sister.
With much, much love. And a recognition that I am a common man, just wanting to be with Jesus. –Melissa
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