My Heart is My Husband’s. Not My Boyfriend’s.

Oh, my friends.

I think the title of this one says a lot. My heart is my husband’s, not my boyfriend’s.

Let me explain.


In the past few weeks, I have learned a lot about my heart and what it was (and wasn’t) created for.

I have learned that my heart was not created for break-ups, for separation, for good-byes.

My sister, our hearts were created soft and gentle, loving and giving and passionate things designed by the very hands of God.

God created our hearts for a steady, sure Love. For a Love that has no possibility of breaking. For a Love that is then and now and forever. For a Love that is faithful, devoted, sacred.


Our hearts were created for the kind of Love that God gives, for the kind of Love that God is.

And a Love that deeply resembles His Love, here, between two people.


Hear me in this: I have absolutely nothing against the way we date in this culture. I think it’s a rather exciting way to get to know someone, to experience new things, to learn about each other, about serving and loving unconditionally and communication and humility. (I could go on, but that would take this whole article.)

I think dating is great. Where I start to have something to say is where our hearts lay in those relationships.


My sister, God has shown me to have my heart set on my husband.

I’m not dating him right now; I don’t even know if I know him right now.

But, you better believe that I can honor him and love him right now.


Right now, as in this very moment.

Right now, as in this season that I’m in.

Right now, in this city, in this place, in this culture.


I want to cultivate a heart of love and honor for him, starting now.


So, that means, that even if I am dating someone, even if I have an amazing boyfriend, that I understand that he is just that: my boyfriend.

Not my husband.

So that means, that even if I am single, that I understand that my heart wasn’t meant to be thrown at any guy who looks my way.

It’s for my husband.

So, that means, that I understand why I want to guard my heart, and why I do it intentionally, out of a place of willingness and not begrudgingly: because I love and honor my husband.


We so often think of saving ourselves for our husband solely meaning our bodies, but, at least for me, I want my husband to have my whole heart, too.

And I think that’s the way that God designed it.


If my body wasn’t meant to be thrown around, guy to guy… then I’ve never been more sure that my heart wasn’t, either.

I want to live in the way I was designed to live; I want my heart to know the fullest joy, the fullest love that God so intricately designed for us.


SO here and now, I am looking to my husband, knowing that our marriage will be a glimpse of the deep love of Jesus for His Church.

Our sweet Jesus loves His bride; He sacrificed everything for Her before she knew Him.

And just as our sweet Jesus did for us, I want to love my husband before I know him. I want to save everything for him. I want him to know that before we were together, that I honored and valued and cherished him.  

My friend, I want to lay my life down for the Gospel and for the sacredness of marriage, for the sole purpose of showing the Gospel in the deepest and most intimate of relationships.


For the sake of my husband. For the sake of a world who is looking for True Love. For the sake of my sweet Jesus.

I want to honor my husband with all that I am.

Right now, in the midst of singleness or dating or relationships.

I hope your heart does, too.


So, my friends, let’s honor and understand how our hearts were designed. Let’s keep our eyes on our sweet Jesus. Let’s guard our hearts and hold sacred the beautiful design of marriage.


May we press on to know the deep, the committed, the sacrificial love that our sweet Jesus has for His beautiful Church.

And may we be intentional about saving ourselves for the sake of that Love, for the sake of my husband and I showing the world that Love.


With much, much love. And a heart dwelling in the love of my sweet Jesus. –Melissa


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33 replies to “My Heart is My Husband’s. Not My Boyfriend’s.

    1. So glad that you enjoyed this post! Thank you so much for your kind words, my friend! Just checked out your blog.. love it! Keep on writing and doing what you’re doing.. you are a bright light! Much love.


  1. This is an awesome post. LOVE LOVE LOVE. It articulated exactly how I have been feeling lately and is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks for writing and sharing this with all of us, haha! Keep doing you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love love love this! I completely agree, I never quite understood why I didn’t want to give my heart to anyone, but this explains it. I want to give it to my Husband, and by giving it to someone else, I can’t do that!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So much truth!! Thanks for not only believing in what a genuine relationship is, but for sharing so that it ministers to others!! The love you share is truly amazing, I’ve never had the opportunity to meet you, but I know these things because you display your heart on the blog and it’s a thing of beauty let me tell you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awh girl this made me so happy!! Feeling so encouraged and loved after your kind words….. so thank you very much!! I can just tell from your words that you have such a heart for Jesus, and love for people that overflows form that. Keep loving others because it truly touches hearts. Much love to you, my friend!!


      1. Thank you so much!!! The encouragement works both ways! It’s just so nice to be able to listen to the contents of another’s heart. Truly one of my favorite things. Much love for as well my friend. Your words are a breathe of fresh air to this soul! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Great words sis. I’ve been having this fear of giving my heart to the wrong person again but now i know all i have to do is to save it for my husband. Thanks for sharing. You posts have a way of uplifting me.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So much yes! We are going through a relationship series at my youth group and the past two weeks we have really camped on the idea of being intentional today in light of the promises God has given us for tomorrow. This past week I just highlighted my own story of waiting, that I made a commitment over 10 years ago to love my future husband by giving him the only gift no one else would ever have, myself. And I shared what God has shown me in the wait and part of that was this very idea, that I want to give my husband all of me which includes being intentional to allow God to do deep work today (and guard my heart) so that I can be the most whole to give my future husband.

    Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing this. So great! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes to all of this! I loved this all so much. Especially the phrase “in light of the promises God has given us for tomorrow,” AND what you said about giving your husband yourself. Amen! Thank you for your kind words and your wisdom…. you are shining so brightly! Much love to you, my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Absolutely loved this post! You just summed up my life, in one article. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. You are such a light, and I always love reading your posts. The Lord is doing great things through you, Melissa.

    p.s. it looks like we have the exact same taste in layout and the black and white theme for our blogs, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isabelle,
      I am so glad that you enjoyed this post! Thank you for your sweet words… I appreciate them so much. I hope you enjoy the ones to come! Yes- we do have the exact same design- I like your taste, my friend! Keep doing what you’re doing… God is looking down, cheering you on!
      Much love!!


  7. Your message was so very timely. I had a conversation with my niece about this very thing a few hours ago and you stated it so eloquently. I shared it with her and she said this is just what she needed to hear. Love that you allow the Lord to use your words to help others clarify what needs to be understood. I believe this message was just for my precious niece last night. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Crystal,
      WOW I am so glad that this post touched your niece’s heart! God is so near to her! And His timing is perfect. Thank you for sharing this with me… it’s so encouraging. Much love to you and your niece!


  8. Wow. I needed this. Two weeks ago I was broken with by a guy I’d been with for over a year. I thought we were going to get married. We’re going our separate ways and trusting God will bring us back together if it’s His Will. I haven’t guarded my body or my heart. I wish I had.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maegan,
      Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Friend, I am so glad that this post could touch your heart in this hard time of yours! I love your faith in Him- yes, like you said, if it’s His will, you guys will get back together. And if not, then it will all be okay. Stay close to God… He loves you so much!! Much love!


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