I’ve had a few days of being rather frustrated, but in a good way.
Let me explain.
God has placed such strong and specific desires in my heart, and I have full faith that I was created to do these very things, but, I don’t think it’s time to do them yet.
My friends, it’s hard when you’re a Martha and you know what you want to do, what you’re meant to do, but when you’re not in the place to do it yet. My passion is literally pouring out of my heart and making my brain go a million miles an hour, all day long, thinking and dreaming and planning and imagining.
But, because of where God has me right now, I know it’s not the right time to start.
It’s a season of waiting.
It’s a season of December 23, anticipating Christmas- it’s so so soon, you can feel it and smell it and see it and feel it. But it’s not here yet.
It’s a season of the ten seconds of lunging, on the start line, before the race starts. Your eyes are fixed on the finish line. You are waiting for the whistle. But it hasn’t been blown yet.
It’s a season that is making my heart wrestle itself.. the Martha in me wants to get going now.
But the Mary that God is shaping in me is whispering, “Wait. Sit at His feet.”
I was telling God about these frustrations, telling Him that I wasn’t created to wait. I was created to do. And work.
Maybe the Martha in you gets the best of you sometimes, and you can understand.
But, my dear sister, God whispered this back to me, full of patient and kind love:
Before I was created to do, I was created to be.
Wow. What a weight lifted off of my self-burdened heart. What a lovely, gentle kindness and intimacy wrapping itself around my heart.
Before I was created to do work, to create things, to design things, to sustain things, to have my own work and pour myself into it…
I was created to be.
Just let that soak in, my dear friend.
I don’t need to bring my work before God in order to spend time with Him… I just need to bring myself.
I was created to enjoy God, to be His daughter and be in awe and wonder of His presence, His glory, His majesty, His fathership and kingship. I was created to have an intimate and often relationship with my God; one where I pleasurably and guiltlessly spend time with Him: no work, no labor, no distractions, just Him and I… grace pouring over my heart, joy running through my veins, peace flowing in my mind.. and a smile beginning on His face.
To be. To talk. To listen. To laugh, and play. To wonder, to love, to beckon and rest.
Never let us get too busy working for the Kingdom, that we neglect the King.
Never let us get too caught up in our lives, that we neglect the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
Never let us get too obsessed with things created, and neglect the Creator.
Before I was made to do, I was made to be.
Before I was made for work, I was made for relationship.
Before I was made to labor, I was made to love.
I’ve been praying, “God, show the way for my life.”
And He said,
“Oh daughter, I AM the way.”
I AM the fulfillment of your life, of your heart, of your wildest dreams.
I AM the way to walk in. I AM the path to choose.
It’s not heavy labor; it’s me.
Be close to me. Let me love you.”
My dear sister,
Jesus never told us to follow our dreams.
He said, “Follow me.”
He gave you the wild dreams your heart burns for, so you can trust Him to lead you into them.
Keep your eyes on Him.
Follow your sweet, sweet Jesus.
He said, “I AM the way, the truth, and the life.”
Draw near to Him, and it will be sweeter and grander than the wildest dreams of your heart.
And then, my dear sister, you can be sure that He will lead you into all that He has for you.
So may we come to Him, with all we are, and just be.
He is more than we could ask or think or imagine. He is our wildest dream, made reality.
With much, much love. And a heart not wanting to move, but rather just so sit here. –Melissa
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