My heart hurts a lot right now.
And I want to make something blatantly clear to you.
If God calls you to something, if He calls you to do something, to move somewhere, to give up something, to leave something….
It doesn’t mean that it’s going to be an easy, joyful, light, delightful process.
Yes, it’s God calling you.
Yes, He is the God of joy.
He is the God of light burdens, the God of delight.
But my friend,
We are human. This world is still broken. Our hearts are still not at home.
It’s okay that it’s hard.
It’s okay that it hurts like hell.
It’s okay that you feel pain, it’s okay that you are having a really hard time.
It’s okay that you miss people and places and community.
It’s okay that your heart is crying out in agony because you don’t understand.
My friend, it’s okay.
Just because it’s God calling you, it doesn’t mean that the pain and hardness are extinguished.
It just means that you can have faith that it’s all going to be worth it.
That it’s the right thing to do.
That there’s joy ahead, even if there’s pain now.
That’s where I’m currently at.
For my friends who know, I recently and rather spontaneously dropped out of college.
It’s been a brutal time working through the fact that I won’t be back with my friends in two weeks. That I won’t be going with them to coffee shops virtually every day. That I won’t be at basketball games, that I won’t be with them downtown, that I won’t be there in the midst of beautiful memory making.
Just because I feel the pain, just because it’s hard..
It doesn’t mean I am making the wrong decision.
My dear sister, hear me when I say this: The pain, the hard time, the agony does not mean you are making the wrong decision.
The pain you feel shows that your heart was poured out. The agony you are experiencing shows that you were fully invested, fully planted in where God had you.
But now, your sweet Jesus is calling you onward.
So onward you must go.
I can’t imagine it was easy for Simon (Peter) and Andrew when they heard Jesus say, “Follow me.” In between those two lines of text is two people leaving their home, their family, their friends, their job, their routine, their pets….. everything.
But after those two lines of text is a story of blessing because of faithfulness. It’s the story of two people who would never regret following Jesus. It’s the story of what Jesus does with a life sweetly surrendered to Him.
I know with all of my heart that God has a beautiful season up ahead.
But you’re not going to see it, you’re not going to understand just yet. It will take time.
But now, my sister, trust. Trust Him.
When you look Jesus in the eyes, you know those eyes of fire are burning for you. They are burning for His bride. He loves us.
We can trust Him with the deepest parts of our hearts.
I promise you that at the gates of Heaven, you will regret nothing.
I remind you, that grace carried you here and grace will carry you on.
He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.
Keep pouring yourself out. Keep giving your heart away. Keep loving deeper than you ever thought you could.
For the Filler of your heart is overflowing. And He never runs dry.
His strength is deeper than our weakness, and His joy is fuller than our agony.
He’s the King of Kings. Why would you expect anything less?
I believe in you, sister. You can do hard things in the sweet name of Jesus.
With much, much love. And a deep grace carrying me on. -Melissa
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