There’s Too Much Riding On Me

Friends,

There’s a lot going on.
Always.
And, if you’re anything like me, there’s probably a lot riding on you.

Work. School. Family. Friends. Hobbies. Responsibilities. Relationships.

There’s literally so much to handle, so much to balance, SO much to do.
And there’s not enough time for it all.
There’s not enough energy for it all.
Or sanity, for that matter.

This seems to be my daily routine:
Wake up.
Snooze my alarm 3 times.
Force myself out of bed.
Admire the bags under my eyes. (Dang Melissa, those bags under your eyes are designer.)
Shower. (But no time to let the conditioner soak for 6 minutes because I laid in bed for too long.)
Throw on black jeans and a black shirt. (Because black is the go-to.)
Rush to class.
Rush to next class.
Rush to work.
Wait, I forgot to eat.
Drive through McDonalds. (Okay confession… I actually really enjoy the Hot and Spicy McChicken sandwich.)
2 minutes late to work.
Respond to semi-urgent texts in dull moments.
Go home.
Respond to more texts.
Oh… I have homework.
And I have to eat again. (This whole 3 meal per day thing really doesn’t fit into my schedule.)
Someone needs to talk. Talk to them.
Realize my need for God. Spend time with Him.
Yeah… Never did that homework.
But now, it’s midnight and I have to wake up in six and a half hours. So, I choose bed.

Didn’t eat 3 meals. Didn’t respond to all of my texts. Didn’t finish my homework. Didn’t get to meet up with the people I want to. Didn’t call my parents. Didn’t spend time with the Lord as He deserves.
Ugh.
And then, I start to feel unworthy. I feel inadequate, like I can’t do all of these things. Like I can’t balance it all.

And most importantly, like I can’t pour into all of things as they deserve.
Here’s the thing:

I fully, fully know that God has called me, specifically and intentionally, to every single thing in my day and in my life.

He has, with His very hand, placed me in the city I am in.
He has, with His very hand, placed specific people around me.
He has, with His very hand, placed me in the school and work and organizations that I’m in.

My life, and everything in it, is not a result of myself. It’s not a result of my hard work. It’s not a result of my planning. It’s not a coincidence, or just “how things turned out.”

It’s God.

It’s His very hand, intentionally working in my and your life.

And through it.

 

Look around.

Do you see your family?

Do you see your best friends? Your friends? Your classmates and co-workers?

Do you see the church you are in?

Do you see the clubs and organizations you are involved with?

Do you see the relationship you are in?

 

My dear sisters, God’s own very hand has put you where you are. He has called you to right where you are right now.

He has called you to your friends. To your boyfriend, or fiancé, or husband. To your job. To your city. To your church.

 

Don’t brush it off, getting lost in the ministry of the future. There is ministry, in your life, right now.

 

My friend, I know that the feeling of unworthiness is real.

I know that sometimes, I walk back to my room after a long day, and think, “Lord, maybe I’m not meant for all of this.”

I know that sometimes, I feel like I am not worthy to do the things I’m doing. Not prepared. Not equipped. Not able to do it well enough.

And my friend, I know that the feeling of unworthiness in relationships is real, too. The feeling of not deserving the wonderful people in your life.

And, the feeling of unworthiness with the Lord Himself is real. The feeling of being too inadequate, too dirty, too far, too ashamed to come near Him.

 

Friend, hear me when I say this:

It’s. A. Lie.

 

Your sweet God would never, never, ever tell you that you aren’t enough.

Your Creator would never whisper to you that you are inadequate.

Your sweet Savior would never tell you that you are too broken, too far, too dirty, too ashamed.

 

Instead, I think that your sweet Jesus would lock eyes with you, and say, “I love you.”

He loves you.

He loves you.

He loves you.

 

I think that His love covers all feelings of unworthiness.

Because, my friend, the real truth is that, in our humanity, we are often unworthy and inadequate and too weak.

But, with our victorious Savior, we are called Beloved and Called. Chosen. Sent.

 

God has called you to it. He has intentionally placed these things in your life with His very hand. He will provide time, energy, love, and grace for it all. Just lean into Him in the moments of chaos and doubt.

And maybe, He has given us all an abundance of things in our life to remind us constantly that we were never meant to do this on our own.

We were meant to thrive on His abundance of energy, strength, wisdom, grace… on His presence in the midst of the utter chaos of every day.

 

 

So, my dear sister, no you are not unworthy.

No, you are not inadequate.

Because you have Jesus in your heart now. And Jesus is worthy.

 

You are a warrior for the Kingdom.

You are a precious daughter of God.

You are so loved. YOU are. Not for your works, not for your achievements. Just for who you are.

 

You are worthy because Jesus is worthy.

With much, much love. And a heart rejoicing that I am worthy because Jesus is. –Melissa

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16 thoughts on “There’s Too Much Riding On Me

  1. This was such a heavy topic of my heart recently and you wrote exactly what I needed to read. Your words of encouragement have been little bits of sunshine throughout my days, and these posts are how I’ve started my time with the Lord as of late. Thank you. Keep your eyes on Him, you’re moving mountains.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! This comment made me smile. Thank you so very much for your sweet words of encouragement.. they mean SO much! And I am glad that the Lord is using these posts to touch your heart. He always graciously provides every single thing our hearts need. Much love to you, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I shared this a year ago and saw it on my Facebook memories. I decided to reread it. And I really needed to hear this today. I’ve gotten so down and lost and this was really encouraging. Thank you so much.

    Liked by 1 person

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