Your past sins & your future man

To the girl who thinks because of her past sins that she doesn’t deserve a godly man:

My dear, dear sister.

I love you.

I really do.

I know… I don’t know you.

But, you are my sister in Christ. I love you for who you are. I love you for the identity you have in Jesus. And that’s that.

Maybe you have made mistakes.

Maybe you have gone too far.

Maybe you have indulged in too much.

It’s okay. My friend, it’s okay.

It means you are human.

We all are.

It means you’ve made mistakes.

We all have.

It’s okay.

It means you have sinned. But nothing that the cross can’t fix, right?

Look to Jesus.

My dear, dear sister,

Hear this in my sweet voice, with a soft heart:

Do you know who Jesus is?

Do you know what Jesus did?

Do you know what Jesus does in your heart?

Rather, my dear friend, do you believe it?

Redemption is for you.

Grace is for you.

Forgiveness is for you.

Jesus is for you.

Redemption is not some mythical principle.

It is not a feel-good remedy.

It is not an invisible, unchanging, weak theory.

It’s not just an idea. Or a word. Or a concept.

Redemption is here. It’s real. It’s raw. It’s powerful. It’s life changing. It’s radical. It’s for you.

The eyes that are reading this right now are the same eyes that Jesus gazes into and says, “I do not condemn you. Your sins are forgiven.”

The heart meditating on these words right now is the same heart that Jesus washed from crimson to white. Pure white.

The person reading this right now is the same person that our sweet Jesus lavishes grace upon. Pours it. Blankets it. Showers it. All on you. Covering you. Surrounding you. You’re sinking in it. Overwhelming, overflowing.

And the One doing this… friends, this is the King.

This is the Lord.

The One that has the power to condemn you… doesn’t.

Instead, He redeems you.

And there is power in redemption.

Power to make our very God walk in the dirt of this world.

Power to hang our God on a tree, piercing nails through his very flesh hands.

Power to keep him there until He cried out, “It is finished.”

Power to shake the earth and make thunder boom.

Power to tear the veil in two. Right down the middle.

Power to raise divine flesh from the grave.

Power to cover you in the crimson blood of Jesus, making you white.

That’s the power of redemption.

My dear sister, you are redeemed.

If you believe Jesus Christ died for your sins, only to be raised to life in victory, you are redeemed.


You are no longer a slave to your sin.

You are no longer chained to your past.

You are no longer bound to your mistakes.

My dear sister, hear me when I say this: You are redeemed.

Friends, I am going to be incredibly blunt. Like, prepare yourself because a total Paul-moment is coming. (I obsess over the sassiness and bluntness of Paul, the apostle. We’ll talk more about this later.)

But, hear this:

If you are not a virgin, that does not mean you do not deserve a godly husband.

If you are not a virgin, or even just sexually impure for that matter, that does not mean you are worthless nor unworthy.

It does not mean you have wasted yourself.

It absolutely does not mean you are unlovable.

My dear, dear sister. You are redeemed.

If God forgives you, so will a Godly man.


Because Jesus doesn’t ask us to forgive others. He demands it.

Because that’s the whole essence of the cross: forgiveness.

Because you are not the same person you were.

Because now, because of Jesus, you are no longer defined by sin.

You are now pure white. You are holy. You are blameless.

You. Are. Restored.

Completely restored. In every aspect.

I feel as though there are no words to accurately describe the intense, the burning, the powerful thing that is redemption.

It’s liberating. It’s freeing. It’s humbling.  It’s raw. It’s beautiful, perfectly beautiful. It shines. It loves. It praises. It renews. It screams yet it whispers. It gives life. It bursts with joy. It sings in harmony. It’s identity.

The power of redemption.

And it’s for you.

I want to scream this from a mountain.

I want to jump out of the screen and look you in the eyes.

I want to give you a big hug and tell you, until your heart believes it, that you are redeemed. You are lovable. You are worth it.

Don’t count yourself out. Because Jesus calls you Beloved.

So stop looking down to the dirt.

Stop looking back to it.

Your worth is found in Jesus.

Your identity is found in Jesus.

Your very heart is found in Jesus.

You are found in Jesus.

Friend, forgive yourself.

Just as Jesus did, forgive yourself.

You are not higher than Jesus. So why are you still blaming yourself when Jesus Christ has already hung on the cross, rose from the grave, all to say, “Your sins are forgiven.”

Friend, any guy who loves Jesus will forgive you, just as Jesus did.

Wait for that guy.

Wait for the guy that knows your worth. That protects your purity. That reminds you that you are redeemed. That loves you unconditionally, past and flaws and quirks and all.

If you are a Godly woman and the Lord calls you to marriage, trust me, God has Godly man for you.

So don’t settle for a guy of this world. Or a Christian boy. Friend, wait on the Lord for a Godly man, a redeemed man.

Sister, shame no longer enslaves you. Guilt no longer rules over you. Dirty, used, worthless is no longer your name.
You are redeemed.
There’s power in that.

With much, much love. And a deep passion. –Melissa


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33 replies to “Your past sins & your future man

  1. The passion and clarity with which you speak is a gift Jesus alone could offer. As someone who struggles to see her worth in Christ, I was deeply moved and encouraged by what you shared. To know that the God of all things has chosen to redeem a broken sinner like myself is difficult to comprehend. Thank you so much for sharing this truth, and reminding me once again of the great great love of my Savior.


    1. Meg!
      Thanks so much for your kind words. I am so encouraged by your comment! Amen to what you said about being how God chooses to redeem us, broken sinners, but how that is so hard to comprehend because it’s not logical- it’s grace! Praying God would overwhelm your heart everyday with His love for you. Much love to you, sister!


  2. Melissa, I was just speaking to my fiancé about this very matter two days ago. Every time I think about my mistakes, it breaks my heart knowing that I broke God’s heart and that I took away certain experiences from my future husband. I just want you to know that your message touched me deeply, and I’m trying to wrap my mind around the unfathomable love and grace that our Father has for us. Thank you for your uplifting words. God bless you, sweet sister.


    1. Riley,
      My sweet friend! Thank you for being so vulnerable- I can feel your passion for Jesus just through your words! I pray that the Lord would constantly pull you deeper into Him, and constantly let you feel the overwhelming grace He is lavishing on you. I pray that He would remind you every single day that you are redeemed, fully and completely. God loves you so so so much. Hold that close to your heart.

      Thank you for your encouragement. It means so much!
      Much love to you, my sister!


  3. I am so glad the Lord allowed me to stumble across your blog. This is the 4th entry of yours I have read tonight and I can feel the presence of the Lord in my room right now. I’m so blessed to experience the truth of redemption you speak about. What encouraging words!!


  4. I know What you’re talking about. I will be waiting for the man that will accept my past mistakes, and believe in my redemption. I will do the same for him. Thank you for this amazing message.

    I can’t wait to share this with my BFF.

    Greetings from Honduras.


  5. Thank you for this awesome message. I know what you’re talking about. I felt terrible about my past mistakes. I hope God will put a man that will accept me for who I used to be, and believe in my redemption.
    Can’t wait to share this with my BFF.

    Greetings from Honduras.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! It very well may be that the Lord laid this message on my heart just for you. Seriously, praise Him for using this to touch your heart. Praying God would overwhelm you with His grace everyday. Much love to you, my dear sister!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Melissa,

    You are an outstanding person. This is only your second post I’ve read, but you have reached me in a deeper connection than any others. This is something I’ve been needing to hear for the longest time. Because of society women look down upon themselves because of their past. No woman should ever feel like they only deserve a certain type of man because of their past. I recently gave up on an amazing relationship because I felt as if I did not deserve him because he is so much better than myself. For the reasons you listed above, obviously. Having him tell me practically everything you said helped none, but reading this… You’ve changed my views, Melissa. You brought me to tears. I thank you.


    1. Madison,
      Girl! Wow, I am so thrilled that the Lord used this blog post to touch your heart. YOU are redeemed… fully and completely! Yes, you, Madison,.. you are so so so loved by our sweet Savior and He has washed you the purest of white. Praying that the Lord would continue to lavish your heart with His love and continually draw you closer to Him. So much love to you, my friend!


  7. I know this is an old post, yet God showed this to me the day I truly needed to see it. Melissa, you inspire me in ways I never could have imagined. Every post I have read (I still have yet to read them all) has made me feel closer to God. Every single word has shown me many things I never thought I would comprehend. This post encourages me to not find my man anymore, but to let God choose him for me. God has done so many great things in my life so why wouldn’t I let him do the scariest thing in my life with me? Every single day I want to live for Him and I appreciate your love towards everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear friend! Wow! Thank you so so very much for your encouraging words. They mean so much! I am glad that the Lord is using these posts to touch your heart…. He loves us so much… and always knows what we need to hear! Amen to what you said about letting God chose your man for you- as I heard earlier this week, “God writes the best love stories.” Praying that God would continue to pull you closer and closer to Him and lavish you in the love and joy and peace of His sweet presence. Much love to you, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for the way you love Jesus boldly, fearlessly, and freely. Your heart and gift of communicating the gospel and His love is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for loving Jesus, and loving Him so much that you can’t help but share it with others. You are an encouragement to this sister in Christ. Thank you. Keep it up sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mackenzie,
      WOW this comment made me smile! Thank you so much.. your words are beautiful and I treasure them! Jesus is so dang good… a moment of dwelling on His gospel brings us to a place of not only fullness but overflow. He loves you so much… He knows the hairs on your head and delights in you, my friend! So much love for you!


  9. Melisssa,
    I thank God for you and your blog. Thank you for speaking of Jesus’ redemptive power and love so honestly! Each time I read this post, the message sinks deeper. I’ve bookmarked this post for each time the devil reminds me of my past, which unfortunately tends to happen a lot. It’s helped me to truly forgive myself and trust God with my future. God’s continued love, peace, and joy to you, sister!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Samantha,
      Dang girl! All I can say is God loves you so dearly.. and so fiercely! He has made you pure white, adopted you into the Beloved…. and He delights in your new identity. Yes, immerse yourself in His truth when the devil starts to remind you of your past. I heard a quote the other day.. “The devil has to scream because he can’t get near you.. but God whispers because He’s so close.” Love that! Thank you for your kind words… praying that the love, peace, and joy keeps flowin’! Much love, my friend!


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