It’s really hard being a girl.
The clothes. The makeup. The hair. The body. The trendy Instagram. The cute room.
I feel like everywhere I turn, there’s someone doing it better.
I feel like sometimes, when I look in the mirror, when I look at my life, I am not pleased.
I feel like I have to hold to a certain standard, 24/7. A standard of: cute, trendy outfit. Of perfect makeup. Of messy (but not really messy) buns as hairstyle. (Yeah, I know you know what I mean.) Because I’m fearful of other’s reactions… of what they will think of me.
And I really don’t think I’m alone in this.
I love Jesus. I really, really do. He saved my soul. He covers me in grace. My life is His. I’m sure you do too.
But sometimes, I catch myself comparing me to other girls. “Look at her cute outfit, look how fit she is, look how graceful she acts. I need to be like that.”
Sometimes, I catch myself worrying about what I think others will say about me. “I can’t eat this here. I can’t wear my hair like that. These pants are too baggy. People will think..”
Sometimes, I work myself up so much that I honestly get butterflies. Like I get butterflies in my stomach before I go someplace. Why? Because I don’t feel like I’m enough. My outfit isn’t enough. My makeup and hair aren’t enough. Etc. Etc. Etc.
And I find my heart stressing. And worrying. And getting frustrated.
I really don’t feel like I’m alone in this. I think as Christian ladies, we put the mute on this. I think we all just cover ourselves and our feelings and our real struggles with phrases like, “We are God’s masterpiece.” “We daughters of the King.” “Jesus calls us beautiful, beloved.”
Yes, yes, yes, this is all true. Undoubtedly. Unashamedly.
But, friends, let’s be real with each other.
It’s a real, eminent thing to struggle with feelings of self-inadequacy. To feel like you’re not enough. To compare. To be un-pleased with yourself.
Even when you love Jesus.
First, know that you’re not alone in those feelings.
Know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
Know that just because you sometimes feel this way, that it does not mean that your faith isn’t “strong enough.”
Secondly, know that Jesus never whispers doubt and shame.
Know that Jesus is singing over you, at this very, very moment calling you beloved.
Know that those whispers of doubt and shame are not of Jesus. Not from Jesus.
But know that they sometimes can creep up in our hearts.
And it’s not the end of the world.
Have you ever pictured looking into Jesus’ eyes?
Maybe this is weird, but I do all the time. (Whatever, I love my Jesus and I am sure that He is well pleased with me thinking of Him.)
Anyways, Jesus’ eyes.
The deepest eyes you’ve ever seen.
The eyes that know you.
The eyes that have seen all of your heart, every little crack and hint of brokenness.
The eyes that see your rebellion. That have seen you turn your back to them.
The eyes that are deep and rich with grace. The most heart-rendering grace you’ve ever seen.
The eyes that are flowing with the most intense, fiery, passionate love. All for you.
The eyes that wept. The eyes that saw his people abandon him. The eyes that saw his people pierce the nails in his hands.
The eyes that saw the glory of Heaven. The eyes that saw the face of the Father. The eyes that, then, came down and saw dirt. And brokenness. And pain. And scars.
The eyes that look on you with so much love. The eyes that will make your heart explode. Explode with joy.
The eyes that watched the Father knit you together, fashioning every small detail about you, sewing you together in His own image.
The eyes that have been fixed on you ever since. Steadfast, relentlessly, fixed on you.
Look into those eyes.
Lock eyes with Jesus.
Fix your gaze on the eyes that will never give up on you.
Set your sights on the Lover who calls you beloved.
Lock eyes with Jesus. And then throw away the key.
Because when we look in Jesus’ eyes, we see One who loves because, simply, He is love. Not for what we look like, nor what we do.
When we look in Jesus’ eyes, we find the One who fully knows us, and fully loves us.
When we look in Jesus’ eyes, we can be ourselves. Because He has beautifully made us that way.
He loves us through the bad hair days. Through the times we want to eat a cheeseburger at 2pm. Through the times when we accidentally trip over nothing on the sidewalk.
When we look in Jesus’ eyes, our confidence returns. Because our heart is reminded of who we are: a redeemed, beloved daughter of God.
When we look in Jesus’ eyes, all of a sudden, the butterflies go away.
The comparison ceases.
The whispers of shame, of guilt, of unworthiness all vanish.
Because when we look in Jesus’ eyes, all we know is grace that covers us, and love that made us.
Friends, don’t focus on mantras or quotes or sayings or what not.
Don’t try to “tough it out.”
Don’t go with some gushy, motivational pep talk.
Just look into Jesus’ eyes.
Take a moment, and really just look into His deep, gracious, bewildering eyes.
Let Him remind of you of who He says you are. Let His grace run over your heart.
And then, face the world again. Now, with a newfound boldness, a newfound humility, a newfound grace.
Remember, it’s okay, it’s even normal that whispers of doubt, shame, and unworthiness creep in your heart.
Just look in Jesus’ eyes.
It will all be okay, my dear sister.
With much, much love. And a hug. –Melissa
I would love to hear from you!
Comment below, or email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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