Ladies, A Christian Boy vs. A Godly Man

LADIES, A CHRISTIAN BOY VS. A GODLY MAN

Yes, yes, I get it.

“He says He’s a Christian.”

“He has a favorite Bible verse.”

“He goes to church.”

I’ve heard it all.

It’s a hard realization to come to. I know.

But is he a Christian boy or a Godly man?

 

After some extensive Pinterest-quote scanning, I have distinguished some differences between the two.

Does he say that God is his number one? Or does he actually love God more than you?

Can he recite Bible verses? Or does he live them out?

Is he going to church? Or is he being the church?

Is he merely respecting your purity? Or is he protecting your purity?

Is he leading you closer to only himself? Or is he leading you closer to God?

Does he say, “I’m praying for you.”? Or does he pray with you?

Do you see Jesus in him?

 

Now, before we get too far, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your man doing the “first question things.” Nothing. In fact, I really, really hope you can answer yes to all of the first questions. But here’s my point:

If we view the first questions as the “Christian boy” and “religion” questions, then that means that answering “yes” to those is good.

Because Jesus came and fulfilled the law.

My sweet Jesus said yes, it’s totally wrong for someone to commit murder, for they will be subject to judgement. AND THEN He said that if we are even mad at a fellow brother or sister, that it’s essentially the same as murder: we are subject to judgement, too.Jesus raised it to the next level. (Matthew 5:21-22)

See, when that personal, intimate relationship with God comes into play, law and religion are not only fulfilled, but raised to the next level.

 

So you may have a Christian boy who fulfills the religion question, and that’s good. But a Godly man will raise it to the next level.

He will love God more than you.

He will live God’s word out.

He will be the church.

He will protect your purity.

He will lead you closer to God.

He will pray with you.

You will see Jesus in him.

 

Let’s really get down into the nitty-gritty, though.

Why are we endlessly and relentlessly seeking and praying for a spouse?

What’s marriage for, in the first place?

 

A marriage between a man and woman represents Christ and His church.

The unconditional love. The devotion. The adoration.

The sacrifice. The joining together.

It represents how much Jesus Christ loves us: His body, His church, His bride.

Our neighbors should be able to look at our marriages and see Jesus’ love in them.  

 

It literally all points straight back to Jesus.

Because, friends, Jesus is our ultimate love. And our ultimate lover.

Your hubby will be there to lead you closer to Jesus. To point you back to Jesus. To love and adore you like Jesus does. To show you.. Jesus.

 

So ladies, remember that we need to love our sweet Jesus above all else, too. And we need to seek Him above all else, too.

So ladies, yes, wait on a godly man.

SO FRIENDS, yes, keep your hearts set on our sweet, sweet Jesus. And He will let His will be done.

“And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you.” Isaiah 62:5

With much, much love –Melissa

110 thoughts on “Ladies, A Christian Boy vs. A Godly Man

    1. I am sooooo glad for this Word from God. I am currently 31 and I have had many bouts of loneliness without the realization that it hurts our Sweet Jesus when we reject ad neglect Him. I have learned to just enjoy life, enjoy singleness, and allow God’s will to be done in my life.

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      1. Danielle,
        Thank you for your sweet words! It’s so inspiring and encouraging that you have learned to enjoy all that God is doing in your life- He is so well pleased with you! Much love to you, my sister!

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    1. After 53 years of marriage to a Godly man, it is worth the wait. This is the biggest decision you will make and your happiness or sadness depends on it.

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    2. I have a feeling most of us will be waiting without finding anyone. I’m 20, and even the “Christian boys” I know have already found “the one”. There aren’t enough of them to go around, and they know they don’t even have to consider the girl who has some acne or is too tall or doesn’t come from the perfect family.

      It’s very discouraging, to be honest. I can’t believe anymore that there’s some Godly Man who’s going to appear when I’m older to love and pursue me. My heart’s already broken, and I’ve never even had a date.

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      1. Millie, I understand the disappoint and the discouragement, but may our sweet Jesus is trying to hold your heart, first. Before any guy. I think the Lord wants us to be joyful and content in Him before any relationship. Think on that. Much, much love to you my dear sister!

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      2. Hi Millie!
        I am 59 years old and have the most wonderful husband! We will be married 4 glorious years next month! I was married to my first husband for 36 years! This was before I met Jesus for real. My first marriage was mostly not good. We didn’t know Jesus. We would go to Church for awhile then backslide. Back and forth for years. He was an alcoholic and was raised in a dysfunctional home. I was only 16 when we got married. He was 21. He didn’t work. He did do good at home raising our girls (when he wasn’t at the bar). I was mentally and physically abused by him. He had many issues but I prayed for him to change. To make a long story short, by not knowing the Lord when I was young I chose the wrong guy. When he passed away from Liver Disease I surrendered my life to Christ. Old things passed away and behold all things became new!! I was such a mess inside from hurt, remorse, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness! It took 2 1/2 years of seeking the Lord and studying the Word that my heart was finally healed! I met my new husband through family and I fell in love with him very quickly! I prayed for 4 years the Lord would put us together one day, but I wasn’t healed yet so I didn’t let on to him that I liked him because I needed to be healed inside. My point is that I had to give my life completely to Jesus so He could show me what love is. He is love! I waited on the Lord to say “it’s time”….your prayer is being answered!! I would love to tell you our love story! By waiting on the Lord I now have the love and respect I have never known! He has made me so happy!! I believe my husband is a gift from God for all the years I suffered with and believed the Lord that my first husband would give his life to the Lord with a real relationship. The thing is God gives us a choice by choosing HIM or choosing what the world has to offer. Please be encouraged that your heart will be healed and pray to the Lord to bring you the one that He has selected for you. In the meantime, give your heart to Jesus in complete surrender and receive the joy and peace He has for you. I pray this helps you in some way. I have never shared my testimony in a blog before.

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      3. Awe Millie, sweetie, you are still so young to be talking like it will never happen for you. Don’t look at things the way the world does as in thinking, because of your age, you should have had at least a date by now. It’s not true! Keep in mind that God might also put a man in your path that needs help from you to bring him to God so, that he can be that strong leader for your family one day. A man needs a strong woman to stand with him also. God may have someone very special for you and believe, he is worth waiting for.
        I say this because I felt the same way your talking at that age and I’ve been knowing my husband for 22 years and married to him for 16 of those years. That’s pretty much what I prayed for too, to have a Godly man….didn’t happen! I was raised in a very strict household where my parents loved and served God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength and taught all seven of us the same, although it didn’t alway work out that way but, we all eventually returned to our roots. I had some very devout parents and my daddy, very much, tried to protected our purity and taught us to do the same so that’s what I wanted in a husband….a man like my daddy….didn’t happen! God put a man in my path that could talk the talk but not walk the walk and I let that lead me astray for a while but I loved him anyway and God used us to help each other all these years and still 22 years later we’re still trying. That’s all we can do day to day and that’s all God asks of anybody, is to try your best.

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      4. God is much bigger than that. When I believed it was time, I went to a godly couple and asked them to pray with me. A short time later, a man walked up to me in church and introduced himself to me. He had been in the same church with me for two or three years and I never saw him, but he had seen me. We talked, alot. We have been married for 25 years, this year. I was 30 when we married. It was WELL worth the wait. We’ve had our challenges, but we are committed to God first, and to each other.

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      5. Millie, I’ve been there done that. I have been where you are and felt everything you are feeling. I just turned 26 a few months ago my and went on my first ever date just a few months prior to my birthday. My boyfriend is the most amazing godly man I have ever known, he really is the answer to ALL the prayers I prayed waiting for God to bring him into my life. But the dejection and the scars, that I didn’t even realize I had, from feeling rejected by guys all those years are still something I’m working to heal from. When the right guy comes along though he’ll fight for you, even if it’s against all those past feelings and not an actual person. He’ll fight for you to see yourself as the amazing wonderful person he sees and loves (this is something my boyfriend is working to get me to see). God works in amazing ways when you decide to wait on Him and to completely trust in Him and stop worrying about everything and put it in His hands. I gave up on trying to find a husband and decided to just be friends and get to know guys that I meet and stop judging them on weather I could marry them or not. I also focused on building my life and growing closer to God and working on obtaining those godly traits that I was looking for in the man I’d want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. When I started doing all that that’s when my boyfriend can into the picture. God is at the center of our relationship and we both know that the other would chose God over us in a split second. Knowing that makes me love him even more. We had known each other for about a year but had only been dating for maybe a month when we started talking about getting married (we’re planning on getting married this fall :)). I hope this can give you some hope. When you stop looking for things to happen it really does seem like that’s when everything starts to happen. Start focusing on your relationship with God and having that relationship fill you with happiness and contentment and I firmly believe (and now know) everything will fall into place perfectly.

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      6. Hey Millie! Please please please don’t be sad. I am 21 and have NEVER been on a date or truly been pursued by a guy either. It’s only been very recently that I have begun to feel discouraged about it from time to time. It’s funny isn’t it? Having never been pursued by a guy by our age feels like one huge rejection lol. And it HURTS. And here is the thing! Beneath the surface of all these terrible feelings and emotions I KNOW that God knows what is best for me. I KNOW that a guy WILLL NEVER fill me up the way my savior can. I KNOW that with ALL my heart beneath those icky terrible feelings of frustration and discouragement. And I know you do to. 🙂
        WE ALL have a blue print of how we want our life to play out (AKA Expectations)
        We live in a world where it is all about achievements and success. It’s about consuming more and more. Something that I have to constantly remind myself is that “What the world calls successful IS NOT what God calls successful.”
        “God sees your relationship with Him as the only thing that you need for every success in your life.” –Joseph Prince
        YOU AND I ARE A SUCCESS, BOYFRIEND OR NO BOYFRIEND. Twenty and still no date? YOU ARE A SUCCESS. Only girl in a group of friends that is not married or engaged or having a baby? YOU ARE A SUCCESS!
        YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR LEVEL OF SPIRITUAL MATURITY OR WORTH….please remember that.
        In church we talk about marriage and relationships A LOT….like A LOT hahaha and for girls like us it is very easy to feel left out.
        I just want you to know that you are so beautiful and amazing and you deserve nothing but the absolute best. May god continue to protect your heart and save it for the right person. You and I are both VERY young and we shouldn’t be feeling discouraged. Were all in this together. *cue high school musical song
        -Good luck xoxo

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      7. Beautiful sister–I am 35 years old and been on like 5 dates my entire life. I’m single (and never really had a boyfriend) and I’m awesome—not because any guy has told me that, but because Christ told me that. I feel your pain though. I come from a great family who loves me and adores me. But deep down, I struggle with the question, “Why doesn’t anyone (a guy) want me?” . It’s a lie from the pits of hell, but sometimes it creeps into my heart nonetheless. I live in the Bay area of California, where the Christian community is small—and the Christian guy community is basically non-existent. Where the 5 eligible bachelors in my church get their pick of the 50 single women vying for their affections. As a 35 year old woman (with a little more weight on my body than I would like), my chances against a 25 year old woman with beautiful hair and a ‘slamming’ body are like one in a million. But as the great philosopher Lloyd Christmas says “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” My hope is always alive. But mainly, my hope is alive because God promises me that good will come to me. He has shown me time and again that my hope rests in something far greater than a man or marriage could ever give me. Marriage is not the end all of life…and if I’m blessed with the opportunity to be a part of something as a great as marriage, I still trust that Jesus will always be greater. There is hope for a life lived abundantly in Christ as a single person. Please don’t be discouraged! I know it is so hard to rest in the fact that Jesus is enough. Trust me, there are so many days that I yell (not cry, but really just yell) out to God, “WHY!??!?! Is there not a husband by my side to kill this giant cockroach!?!?!?”Or simply wish that I had a constant companion for Netflix binge watching. So beautiful Millie, please don’t give up. You are worthy of a Godly man. Even if it feels like he will never come, just remember…BUT JESUS. And if you ever struggle like I do with the question, “Why doesn’t anyone want me?” Just remember…BUT JESUS. He’s a miracle worker that LOVES me. And nothing is impossible with Him.

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      8. Millie you are a child of god and we all make up christs body as it says in Romans so you are a sister to me. As a sister do not compare yourself to others its hard but look at how far God has taken you and thank him for your growth. You have not met the one god has assigned for you because your not ready yet or its not the time. God is near the broken hearted as it says in psalms. Do not allow the enemy to make to make you feel such ways. Your not a lone but just carry on pushing through to the heavenly goal. Look up always .. pray through this pain. Pick up heather lindsey book runaway bride, it is an eye opener .
        God bless i have faith you will be at peace
        Caroline x

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    3. Girl, I understand the wanting to have that guy now. But the truth is.. Jesus may make us wait 50 years. Or 5. Or a day before He brings that guy into our lives. And that’s okay…. because He loves us so well and He wants His best. Trust Him. Trust His plan. Much love to you, my sweet friend.

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    4. Trust me, you will NOT be waiting forever. I’m only 19 and I met the most amazing man about 6 months ago. The only thing on this “list” that he doesn’t do is pray with me. We have talked about it, though, and decided that that’s more for engaged/married couples. Point is, you won’t be “waiting forever”. It’s not even a hard wait, honestly. You’ll learn so much about yourself and what you want as time goes by. I’ve been in a handful of terrible relationships that God let me go through in order to be equipped for my “one true love”. Waiting isn’t a bad thing.

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    5. I like your comment. I thought the same thing. So I planned to be single, although I was praying for my future husband. I was preparing to go to Ecuador as a single church-planting missionary assistant. I had nearly 70% of my support raised. Then I got a phone call. “May I come up and visit you? I am a single (male) missionary going to Ecuador, and this pastor just gave me your information which came in his mail today.” We were married just over 9 months later, and in Ecuador 4 months after that. We now have 5 kids with dual citizenship (triple, if you count Heaven) and are more in love than ever. That’s what God can do. Don’t sell Him short. 🙂

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  1. I always say that Jared has shown me more about God’s live for me than I ever thought possible. He’s such a wonderful example of love and it blows my mind to think of Jared, an imperfect human can love me like that then how much MORE must Jesus love me!? So cool. So great. No other relationship I’ve ever had compares to Jared showing me Jesus every day.

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  2. I read this because I saw a link to it on Facebook and it caught my attention. This is a great post to think on, not just for the ladies out there but for us guys too. I think something else for guys to think about is this, would you want your daughter dating you? if the answer is no then change. I had never thought about dating that way but it makes perfect sense.

    Also, to the young lady (Millie) who is discouraged, please don’t be. I know how you feel from a guy’s perspective but its not just worth having a relationship just to say you’ve got a boyfriend. Use this time to focus of growing in your relationship with God. God will send you the perfect husband in his time when we least expect it. It’s difficult to say but I’m saying it having just broke up with a girl after being with her for nearly a year. We broke up because we had a Godless relationship. Now I’m saved and striving everyday to grow in my relationship for God knowing that if I keep my focus on him and keep him the center of my life everything else will fall into place and that perfect wife he has for me will eventually be blessed upon me. Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of my favorite verses!

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  3. I absolutely loved reading your post! Your writing gave me the encouragement I needed to help get me through a particularly rough time in my life. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared it on my blog as well (giving you the credit, of course)!

    Best,
    Eva

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  4. Thank you for this, Melissa! I second Millie’s post of despairing that this type of man will ever come along. I’ve been jaded by an ex who courted/dated me and claimed to walk the walk & talk the talk, but suddenly ended things and left me deeply scarred. When you mentioned a man who will “protect your purity”, I can’t even picture what that looks like in a godly man anymore, but I am hopeful that there is someone out there who will do just that! This post strengthened me to wait it out and to be patient, for God is a good God who gives good things to His children.

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    1. Ashlyn,
      I am so glad that you enjoyed the post. Yes, the pain from a crumbled relationship can cut deep, but I promise you that our sweet Jesus is looking to fill those cracks- to fill them with Himself. He will grow you closer to Himself through that pain. There’s purpose for it. Keep lovin’ Jesus with all you have, and everything will fall effortlessly into place. Much love to you, my sister!

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  5. I think this is a great article! I do wish there was some talk about grace…it’s harder for Christian boys to become Godly men if the women in their life is telling them they aren’t good enough.

    All women should absolutely seek a Godly man. But if you’re already married to someone whom you don’t classify as a Godly man, be very careful about your words. Build them up and tell them all that you believe they can accomplish and how much you admire their efforts. Deal gently and respectfully with your spouse. It makes a difference.

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    1. Katie,
      Yes! Grace is such a huge part of a relationship- mainly because grace what our lives are based on! I hear you girl! I mainly directed this article to single ladies who are thinking about dating- encouraging them to be wise in their decisions. Thanks for your words! Much love to you, girl!

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  6. Excellent post. From the male perspective:

    To those who feel like Millie does, all I can say is this: dive deep. Go deep into God’s word, and seek Him out. Search for Him and you will find Him, the Bible says. You’ll find Him in ways you hadn’t thought of.

    The only way I could ever stop feeling the same way that Millie does is to train my mind on this: my focus was to be on my relationship with God. My life is complete with Him, whether or not I ever met anyone and dated or got married. It’s a HARD struggle, especially with everything in our society saying that there’s something wrong with you if you’re not dating or married. There’s NOTHING wrong with you if that’s the case.

    Once you determine that your life is complete with Jesus, then anyone that comes along is an addition. This will also help you be more picky about who exactly you choose to date when the time comes.

    God knows your heart. He knows your desires. The Bible also says that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart. God WANTS you to be happy. He’s a good, good Father!

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    1. CJ,
      Thank you for your message! I love what you said about our lives being complete with the Lord alone- marriage or not. Love the verse reference that if we delight ourselves in Him, that He will give us the desire of our hearts. Thanks for your encouraging words! Blessings!

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  7. I SO enjoyed reading this post! It’s definitely a daily battle, but one that I know is worth fighting. Thank you for this encouragement. It’s timely and it’s so wonderful to read everyone comments about waiting on Jesus and finding the “one.” I stumbled across this blog on Facebook and it’s amazing how just scrolling away led to me feeling encouraged. Thank you again and I’d love to read more on the topic!

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  8. Ladies- first I applaud you for having the heart to want to know what this is. 2nd- understand this- If a man is truly a man of God he also needs a woman of God. So you have to bring some strength to the relationship. Godly men will not engage in this type of relationship with someone who is spiritually weak or ignorant. My best advice is start living like the Godly man characteristics listed above yourself. Read the ENTIRE Bible. I believe it is a mistake to come into a relationship believing they are going to save or carry you. That’s Jesus’ job. So fall in love with Christ before any man. And learn to hold yourself up with confidence. Learn to live without a man first.

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  9. I am 17 and find that I am constantly searching for love & acceptance of others even though I KNOW Jesus is all I need. This has been something that I’ve struggled with all of my life, but this year I am making a conscious effort to be solidified in God’s Love for me. This really hit me, and I thank you for sharing what God shared with you. May God bless you and keep you!

    Shyanne

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  10. As a 29 year old single male, in response to Millie- Millie I have felt the same thing for so many years, and I mean years. Since I was 5 years old I could not wait to get married. My mom said it, my family said even my teachers said it. ” he just can’t wait to get married.” when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up” or “what’s your dream job” my answer was always the same, “to be a father” and that hasn’t changed. I accepted Jesus into my life when I was 11 and have been so excited about the idea of marriage. Ever since I learned about Gods true design for marriage, I just couldn’t help day dreaming about having a wife and kids and all the things that I wanted to do with them and experience with them. Yet I found myself in past years feeling like my chances of this ever happening were slipping further and further away. Like there is something wrong with me…seriously wrong with me. I knew this wasn’t true but none the less it put me into a depression for years because everyone around me was getting married. all of my family are married, all of my friends are married….. ALL OF STINKING FACEBOOK ARE MARRIED! Most all of my church is married and not a Christian-single-women in sight. I’m the only single guy in our care group of 27, the only single youth leader at our church, the only single guy for bible studies ,church events, or get together a with family and friends… I’ve been on 5 dates my whole life and all of them were a wash, because deep down I’ve been praying and desiring for a woman, not a girl. Every date turned into God showing me how I was trying to settle for my own selfishness. All so I could fill an empty void that I was denying God access too the entire time. When in reality I had never invited him in to fill my-“marriage/love/dating/physical/romantic/intimacy/companionship-void.” “How can I love my wife 100% the way God designed and intended me too, if I don’t fill up that void with his love first.” I have to open that part of my heart and let him fill it with his perfect love. So when and if he does bring someone into my life, oh man am I going to have a deep well of genuine Christ centered love for her ready to give and share. A well filled with Godly- love, hope, peace, trust, patience, kindness and forgiveness. I want to be that Godly man that every Godly woman “Prays for” not dreams about. Because I know that if she’s praying for me as I am her then she too is filling up her void and deepest desires with Gods promises. Not an fantasies of some dreamy guy who unfortunately is going to be an imperfect man. A sinner, prone to mistakes and who is going to let her down at some point.
    With all that being said I just want to encourage you in a way that you have me. I am so overjoyed to hear that there are still single women saving themselves, praying, waiting for God to bring them the right man. Women who are still following Jesus and not compromising. Especially when your surrounded and bombarded by everyone you know getting engaged, married, photos, honeymoons, kids, “look-at-me-and-my-happiness Facebook,Instagram,Pinterest-status…. 😫.
    Ya you can get sick and depressed real quick. And you Millie…. are the one who inspired me to share this. After reading this amazing article, scrolling down to view the comments and seeing your post; my heart just wrenched. My heart connected with what you said on so many levels I can’t even explain. But just know God made Adam…. And he saw that something was missing with him. And that was a life partner, a helper a companion; Eve. God designed and created us with marriage in mind. To cleave together, to become one flesh and love each other. He created the gift of sex as beautiful, deep and intimate way to express our deepest love towards our spouse. But he’s also calling us to love him first. Our love and faith in him needs to be the foundation of our life and marriage. I know deep down in my heart that if I love and devote my heart to Jesus 1st with the same passion I have for a future wife, then God will cross our paths in his perfect timing.
    Millie I want to encourage you to have faith and trust God. Because there is 1 man who is holding out for you, is praying for you, and trying his hardest to be a that Godly man that your praying for. I know this to be true and I will explain why. Someone has been praying for me for years, I know deep down in my heart she has….because I would not be striving, trying, praying, hoping, waiting, saving or growing in this way. Some amazing woman is praying to God for me. Because God keeps showing me and telling me to be a Christ honoring man first. To be a Loving, compassionate, caring and thoughtful man. To treat every woman/ girl with the utmost respect, no matter what. Not the world, not my friends; God. He is changing me from the inside out for not only him but for someone special. My passion grows more and more for Jesus every day and my respect for who ever “she” is, more as well. I am going actively seeking out and learning to become the man that God wants me to be for him and her. And though I’m not perfect by any means I have faith in God that someday I will be that answered prayer for her, and her for me. I hope this encourages you Millie. And Sorry for the terrible spelling, sentence structure and punctuation… Not my forte.
    Melissa Thank you for this awesome article, I never reply to these things ever. And I have read a bazillion of them. But it was a much needed breath of fresh air. Thank you!

    Hold out for God… Because he’s holding out for you. God bless!

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    1. Thomas,

      That is just absolutely amazing and thank you so very much for sharing it with us. As a guy of nearly the exact same age I know exactly how you feel. But Millie truly is a breath of fresh air. She has inspired me that there are still single Godly women out there that are saving their self for the right man that God has for them. I’m praying for whomever God has for me because I know she’s praying for me as well.

      Blessings,
      Tim

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    2. Thomas,
      Wow! Thank you so much for your encouragement. It’s awesome to see how the Lord has and is working in your heart through your life! Your message means more than you know. Thanks again! Blessings to you!

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    3. Such an encouraging and incredible comment to read!! Thanks for sharing. That’s a rare perspective and it’s so encouraging to know that there are future spouses actively waiting in prayer and accordance with Gods timing. Totally inspiring to read!

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    4. Thomas,
      I love your response here! In May, my husband and I will be celebrating our 1st anniversary together. I am soooo thankful that there was a man who was also waiting for God’s will! Even before I met Josh, I would try to encourage my friends to stay strong in the Lord and continue to grow in Him because somewhere out there, there is a guy who is wondering if you exist just like you are wondering if he does. Make it worth his wait! Be the godly girl who followed hard after God and didn’t stray from the path of purity. If you compromise now or settle for less than God’s best, you could very well be crushing a godly man’s dream. So, I totally relate with what you are telling Millie here! Great aspect! Speaking now as the wife of a godly man, it is soooo worth the wait! The treasure God will give you in each other is indescribable!

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  11. I couldn’t have said it better. This is what governed my decision-making, so I didn’t date a lot, but God sent the the prize of all prizes, my previous husband. He fulfilled every one of these premises, a truly Godly man. And it’s also guiding My daughter’s choices, so God has His choice being prepared for her. We don’t even have to go seeking. God will bring His choice to us.

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    1. Tricia, yes! I love how you said, “We don’t even have to go seeking. God will bring His choice near to us.” SO true! Praise Him for your previous husband, and thank you for your sweet words. Much love to you, my friend!

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  12. Thank you so much for posting this blog! This is my first ever comment and I can honestly say that I am commenting because of the other comments.

    To throw a wrench into all of this…I am a single(never married) 26 year old mother of three. My relationship with my daughter’s father was a completely Godless relationship. However, my sons’ father and was the “Christian Boy” you wrote about. He carried very few if any characteristics you described of a Godly man and I was not as strong as I should have been and fell into Satan’s trap! I have since learned that the characteristics you describe above are what I should be looking for in a man. However, I find great discouragement in expecting a man to be willing to be with a “newly Godly woman” with three children. I have faith that I was blessed with my beautiful children because God knew I could handle it and I will be a great mother(with many failures but still great!) I have recently reflected on my prayers as a child and adolescent and realized that I always prayed to be a mother, never to be a wife and mother. I pray now for my children and their future spouses and I pray that someday someone will see my family and know that is exactly where they are supposed to be. But, I also find depression in knowing that it may not happen for a very long time and that I may be very lonely for a very long time as well. I will be praying for all of you and I appreciate your comments. They are a great inspiration for me and will give me the foundation to let my children know that people don’t get married or have children right out of high school and it’s okay and all of the time God’s plan is much better than ours is! I know this may seem like a lot of rambling but this post really got my mind going! Thank you again Melissa!

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    1. Michaela, thank you so much for being raw and vulnerable! It is truly an inspiration and so encouraging. I bet your three kids are all beautiful, and I know for sure that they have an amazing mommy. Props to you, girl. I pray that the Lord would bless you and your family abundantly. I pray that He would cover your sweet heart in His grace, and pull you closer to Him. So much love to you, my friend!

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    2. MICHAELA; Don’t give up hope of some day becoming one with a godly man. Even though you have three children from outside of wedlock, a man of God who walks the walk will not judge you based on your circumstances, and believe it or not, there are godly men who don’t want their own children, but a woman of God with children already, that he can help make a better life for. I was that man, twice.

      Prior to my first marriage, I was in a long term relationship and hoping for marriage, with a woman I led to the Lord, who had 3 children with 3 different men. I protected our purity, but she didn’t share that value, and got pregnant with her 4th child by another man just when I was preparing to propose.
      Two years later, I married my first wife. She had two kids from a prior marriage, and the younger one had Downs Syndrome. That made no difference to me. After 17 years, that marriage ended in divorce, but the children was NOT a factor. Disobedience to God on my part was, as were her issues.

      After the divorce, I used my season of singleness to improve my relationship with God. He led me into a new approach. Instead of searching for the best possible wife for me , I worked on becoming the best posible husband for a woman I had yet to meet.
      Five years after my divorce, I met a real deal godly woman on a Christian dating site. She had 3 grown up children from her first husband, who left her for another woman. She too was in a season of becoming the best possible wife for a man who would one day find her. That was how and when we both knew. We have now been married for nearly 6 years, and it’s been wonderful. Our church leaders often use us as an example for other couples.

      As for Millie; a girl who has some acne or is too tall or too fat, or doesn’t come from the perfect family, does not matter to a man who desires a Christian wife. What does matter is her walk with God.

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      1. Thank you for your encouraging words! As time goes by I am realizing that this time is meant for me and my relationship with Christ and its growth. Also, my relationships with my children and their relationships with Christ are growing as well! For a while now I’ve asked the Lord what it is I can do for him rather than the other way around and I’ve seen much improvement in my spiritual life! Praises for you and your wife and your Christ-centered relationship! Blessings!

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  13. This is wisdom.

    I am trying to pin this to a Pinterest board, but Pinterest keeps blocking my effort because it says it might be spam. Any suggestions?

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    1. Anni, thank you! I have found that if you hold the cursor over the picture that is associated with the post, and then pin the picture that when people click on the picture then it will link back to the blog! Hope that helps! Much love to you!

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  14. I really appreciate the introspection this post provoked for me. After sending it to my girlfriend, she had a question: For all the posts directed to girls about how to know if a guy is focused on God as he should be, are there any that are directed to guys for the qualities in a Godly woman?

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    1. Benjamin,
      Typically I am only writing to ladies. I do not think I will ever write a post directed to guys… Girl to girl and guy to guy is how I think encouragement is most effective! Thanks for reading!

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      1. Benjamin, I hope Melissa doesn’t mind me sharing the link to my blog with you as I shared it with her first, but here it is. I don’t post a ton but when I do I hope they are encouraging from a Guy’s perspective. My posts are based on my real life experiences and lately my posts have been focused on what I’ve learned (learning) from a failed relationship I just got out of and how I’m learning to rely on God.

        http://bigt-loveofgod.blogspot.com/

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you for this encouraging article and for all of these encouraging comments.I’m a single 37 year old male who has ALWAYS had a desire to be married.Sometimes,though,I believe I may have even made an ‘idol’out of it and focused on ‘getting married’ more than focusing on growing more in God.I know the Holy Spirit has protected my heart,because I’m pretty sure that if I would have married at an earlier time in my life then I would more than likely be divorced by now.
    As a guy,I also have to battle and cast down the lies of the enemy that says ” you’re never going to get married because you’re already 37….there are no Godly women out there like you are waiting for…blah blah blah…” But those are just lies of the enemy.The prophet Elijah thought he was the ‘only prophet of God left’ but God said I have reserved 400 who have not bowed their knee to Baal!
    I have recently had a friendship end with a female(longggg story),who was my very best friend.We became close while she was in the process of going through a very rough time in her life.I tried my best to keep the proper and Godly emotional bounds and not to exceed them.My heart and emotions became very attached to her and I still love her more than words could say,but less than a month ago she dropped the bomb on me that she could never see us being anything more than friends……needless to say I was crushed because in my mind I had set up HUGE expectations.The enemy tried to bring me into a state of GREAT darkness,depression,hoplesness,and despair.Even to the point of having thoughts that I should just end my life and get it over with.BUT…..in the midst of that darkness I kept worshipping God and setting my mind on things above and pressing through the darkness.One of the main scriptures God has made SO real to me is in Pslams 139:11-12(actually the whole chapter is an amazing thing to pray when you feel down or distraught).But in essence it basically says that in the midst of darkness He can cause light to shine.I am seeing this every single day.God is growing new sprouts of hope in my heart but He can only do that if we allow Him to by entering into His presence and allow Him to trade our weaknesses for HIS strength like He told Paul in 2Corinthians 12:9.
    Once again,thank you for this article and thank you ladies who are pursuing the Fathers heart and letting Him be the lover of your soul.By seeking Him first in everything will allow Him to add all things,including a Godly spouse to your life.Don’t get discourage but be strong in the Lord and in His strength and let Him lavish His love upon you.He is a good good Father and He won’t withhold any good thing from you.(Luke 11:9-13 is also a good passage about the Father giving to us nothing that would harm us).

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  16. This post is just amazing! Very inspirational and motivating to wait on God. Many times I feel discouraged and think that I may never find the right guy. Many of my friends are getting married, are married, or having kids and I’m still here. But then I realize that I still have school to finish. I have a year left of nursing school and it’s tough so having a bf at this time would be a bit distracting. And I know God knows that very well. My goal for this year is to truly work on my relationship with God, learn to be content in him, and learn to love myself as well because how can we love others if we don’t love ourselves. Many people don’t understand why I wait till marriage for sex because sadly in this world the meaning of marriage and sex has lost its meaning. But I’m proud to say that I’m waiting for marriage because it’s a special bond you have with the person you will spend the rest of your life with. And that to me that makes the wait worthwhile. Sometimes we may get impatient and it’s okay but just remember that God’s timing is perfect. He knows what is best for us and wants the best for us. So if you’re still single, enjoy it. Work on your relationship with God and be that Godly person you want and when the time is right, God will put the right person for you in your life. Don’t be discouraged. Wait on what God has in store for you. Blessings to you all!💙

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I really wish I would have seen and hear this back before I was married.
    I was one of those who thought there was something wrong with me in that I was 30 years old and had not been married yet.
    Two people who both my husband and I knew and looked to, pushed us together.
    This should not have happened. We should not have been married or even together.
    This was all wrong from the start. We were married and when I was miserable and thinking about getting out of this marriage, I got talked out of it.
    I wish I would have gone with my gut and got away before I married him or got away right after I married him.
    Society makes you think that you have to be married and have children by a certain age or you are the lonely “spinster ” or “bachelor”. This is so wrong.
    Wait on the Lord and prayerfully consider each person who comes into your life.
    If they do not measure up to God’s standard, they do not need to be in your life as a serious relationship much less marriage.

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  18. To any of the women who are reading this, don’t lose hope. There are many Godly men that I know, and they’re still single. Be patient and pursue God. Christ didn’t die for you so that you could receive second best in your marriage. He wants the best for you, and He will show you when it is time. You girls deserve it, and honestly a Godly woman is one of the most attractive things ever, and it’s rare. I wish there were more. Stay strong ladies, and dwell in the Lords provision!

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  19. Hi Melissa, Not sure how this works, but my husband and I work and live in Ukraine, ministering to young people. I was really moved by this post. And was wondering, would you allow it to be translated into Hungarian so that we can share it with our young people here, in their mother tongue? Not certain about copyright issues… Feel free to reply to my email. Thanks so much. And Thanks so much for writing on such an important topic!!! May the Lord bless you as you live for Him! In Christ, Stacey

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    1. Stacey,
      That’s so incredible that you guys are living in the Ukraine! OF COURSE you guys can translate anything and everything into Hungarian. Please don’t worry about any copyright issues. I would love to help in any way that I can. I am so sorry, I didn’t receive an email! Thank you for your encouragement and support. Please let me know if you guys have any other questions or concerns! Much love to you guys!

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    1. Noelle,
      I am so glad that you enjoyed that post. I hope that God continues to show you more and more of aspects of a relationship with Him at the center. Thanks for your kind words! Much love to you, my friend!

      Like

  20. Dear girls..
    my name is Abigail, i am 23.
    2 months ago my bf left me because of my stupidity.
    i can’t get over him. i still longing him, eventhough i found peace in Jesus.
    but why i still wondering how my life will be perfect with Jesus and my ex inside it….

    Liked by 1 person

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